Life and Stuff.
I haven't blogged in awhile, not because I don't have much to stay, but because I have a plethora of things to say but no way or time to put it down on paper. (so to speak) Something I'm beginning to learn more these days is to go with the flow. I've always considered myself someone who is easily adaptable to change, but the changes that happen when you become a parent are swift and daily. Another thing I've learned is there may not be one single RIGHT answer to a problem. Sometimes, the decision that is the best one is the one that's the least wrong one. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but here's an example of what I mean; The Decision To Work or Not To Work. On one hand, working gives me a sense of independence. I feel like I'm contributing to the household and I really enjoy this new part time job that I'm doing. On the other hand, working is a pain in the ass. I have to take Tucker to daycare for 2 measly hours a day and spend the same amount as if I were taking him 8 hours a day. Daycare sucks. Like really sucks. Sick kids running around, one person watching your kid and 3-4 others, people switching in and out for breaks so no one is really there the whole time watching the kids. Pacifiers, blankets, clothes, you name it getting mixed up with other kids stuff regardless of the name that is clearly written on them. Oh and one more thing...they're not you. No one watches your baby better than you. Flip the situations around one more time; staying home gives me cabin fever. Tucker is super fun and cute, but how many hours of laying on the floor watching him kick and coo can my sore back take? Sure I have time to take walks, do crafts, watch my favorite shows, meet up with other mommies, but what happens when I've already taken my walk, I am crafted out, I've sailed through all my Netflix shows, and I have zero money (from the not working part) to partake in mommy outings. Or any other outing for that matter. Sigh. Yes, there really is no right option. The good news is, Tucker seems to be fine either way. He doesn't mind hanging out with Daddy for a few hours while I'm at work and wouldn't mind any more or less if it were me hanging out with him all day. *insert TEAR here* I do actually get a little upset that he's not more attached to me... So for now, the mostly right decision is for me to continue to work my part time job. Which is, by the way, quite perfect. Literally right next door to my house and I get to plan weddings and events and come home on my lunch to feed Tucker. Really, I don't know what I worry about sometimes. Then again...it's a continuous circle. It's best to just go with it.
Besides the work situation I'm learning to "go with the flow" at home and in my relationship with Tony as well. Gone are the days of Thursday night wine drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy without either needing to turn it up loud so I can hear it from the other room while I bathe/play/change Tucker, OR I'm standing for two hours with a 14lb baby strapped to my chest so he'll be quiet enough to watch. The days of, "sure lets go grab something to eat" are also ghosts around here. Not saying that I'm really upset about these things changing, but it's change nevertheless and something to get used to. I'm by no means Betty Crocker and cooking is just something that HAS to be done while you are on a budget. I'm learning and adapting and getting by.
If someone had told me "your relationship with your husband will change dramatically" when I was pregnant, I probably wouldn't have believed them. (FYI, they did and I didn't) Tony and I have always had a wonderful, argument free (mostly) relationship. We've always known our roles and sailed peacefully through our marriage. I'm not saying that has changed completely, but it there are definitely changes. I'm not sure if it happens when you push a 9lb baby out of your body or when he is sleeping so soundly in the bed while you are up for the 5th time of the night rocking the baby back to sleep, but somewhere inbetween something makes you want to wring your husbands neck! (obviously not literally) ha! I'm sure all my other mommy friends can agree that the patience and adoration you had for your husband suddenly vanishes in a white hot flash during those moments. Then just as quickly as it flashed before, you are crying and just want him to hold you and tell you that you're doing a good job. That somehow despite the crazy hair, unbrushed teeth, and milk stained clothes, you're still the most beautiful woman in the world. Luckily Tony learned how to whether the storm that is my emotions with a graceful heart.
I'm constantly surprised by how fast Tucker is growing. One minute he needs his head to be supported and cradled, the next he is pushing up on his little legs and spinning his head around as fast as he can to take the whole world in. He has learned to roll over, he stands only supported by his little hands grasping your thumbs, has learned that if he wants attention to scream as loud as he can and stop abruptly when he is picked up, and is already showing signs that he's ready for solid food. Tony is constantly trying to make him grow up faster and I'm constantly trying to slow it down. Tucker has a sweet disposition already and has a toothless grin that'll make you smile even in your darkest moods. He loves to take in the world around him and doesn't seem to mind everyone fawning over is cuteness. There's really not much this little guy doesn't like and is a pretty happy baby. Score.
It's already been almost 4 months since Tucker was born and I can't believe how much our lives have changed since. I'm loving every moment of it despite any struggles it comes with. <3
Besides the work situation I'm learning to "go with the flow" at home and in my relationship with Tony as well. Gone are the days of Thursday night wine drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy without either needing to turn it up loud so I can hear it from the other room while I bathe/play/change Tucker, OR I'm standing for two hours with a 14lb baby strapped to my chest so he'll be quiet enough to watch. The days of, "sure lets go grab something to eat" are also ghosts around here. Not saying that I'm really upset about these things changing, but it's change nevertheless and something to get used to. I'm by no means Betty Crocker and cooking is just something that HAS to be done while you are on a budget. I'm learning and adapting and getting by.
If someone had told me "your relationship with your husband will change dramatically" when I was pregnant, I probably wouldn't have believed them. (FYI, they did and I didn't) Tony and I have always had a wonderful, argument free (mostly) relationship. We've always known our roles and sailed peacefully through our marriage. I'm not saying that has changed completely, but it there are definitely changes. I'm not sure if it happens when you push a 9lb baby out of your body or when he is sleeping so soundly in the bed while you are up for the 5th time of the night rocking the baby back to sleep, but somewhere inbetween something makes you want to wring your husbands neck! (obviously not literally) ha! I'm sure all my other mommy friends can agree that the patience and adoration you had for your husband suddenly vanishes in a white hot flash during those moments. Then just as quickly as it flashed before, you are crying and just want him to hold you and tell you that you're doing a good job. That somehow despite the crazy hair, unbrushed teeth, and milk stained clothes, you're still the most beautiful woman in the world. Luckily Tony learned how to whether the storm that is my emotions with a graceful heart.
I'm constantly surprised by how fast Tucker is growing. One minute he needs his head to be supported and cradled, the next he is pushing up on his little legs and spinning his head around as fast as he can to take the whole world in. He has learned to roll over, he stands only supported by his little hands grasping your thumbs, has learned that if he wants attention to scream as loud as he can and stop abruptly when he is picked up, and is already showing signs that he's ready for solid food. Tony is constantly trying to make him grow up faster and I'm constantly trying to slow it down. Tucker has a sweet disposition already and has a toothless grin that'll make you smile even in your darkest moods. He loves to take in the world around him and doesn't seem to mind everyone fawning over is cuteness. There's really not much this little guy doesn't like and is a pretty happy baby. Score.
It's already been almost 4 months since Tucker was born and I can't believe how much our lives have changed since. I'm loving every moment of it despite any struggles it comes with. <3
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