The World's Most Difficult Job: Motherhood
Well hello there! It's been MONTHS since my last post. Not for lack of want or things to write about, but literally for lack of time. So many nights I've had entire posts written in my head and yet I had no ambition to take the time to sit down and write them down. So tonight, I am breaking the silence and forcing myself to get all my thoughts out of my head again. Lucky you, whoever reads this. I have my half burnt toaster strudles and Gilmore Girls in the background, so here it is.
Today, I found myself, not for the first time, thinking that being a Mom is seriously the most difficult job there is. There have been many, MANY other posts, satirical and serious, about the strifes of motherhood, but here I am to add my own. Consider your lovely adorable child your boss. You spend nine months carrying and hosting this growing being inside you, giving up the delicious food and wine that you love in order to create a healthy baby, going through pains and lack of sleep and everything else that comes along with pregnancy to eventually spend hours of labor and pain to bring this being into the world. After extreme exhaustion kicks in, you're now expected to feed, rock, walk, perform entertaining presentations, all while also keeping up with your well being, house work, dinners, etc. To that, your little squishy boss responds with excessive crying, all the time, all through the night. Lovely.
Fast forward one year. You've finally gotten your rhythm in the world of parenting. Somehow you've managed to learn how to take care of your growing Boss and he is thriving. The house gets cleaned (most of the time), the groceries are bought, menus are planned, you even have a little bit of spare time to do the things you love. Through it all, your husband, the love of your life, the one you couldn't wait to see when you woke up everyday, has made his own transformation into fatherhood. Although he has rough days of his own and there are literally times you want to pinch him SUPER hard under his arm so he bruises... he's done an amazing job. He has kept up with things, supported you when you needed it and somehow still managed to think you're sexy. It all seems like all the pain and strife that was once a daily expectancy, has somehow vanished and you've arrived into the Golden Days. And then you have a reality check.
Today, was a great day. I took Tucker and the dogs on a walk in the bright sunshine. We arrived home for a little play time and breakfast. I made a nice meal for Tucker of his favorites; strawberry yogurt, toast and blueberries. We sat down and much to my surprise, the lovely breakfast of favorites that I made especially for Tucker is now NOT his favorite. Blueberries were smooshed and spread around on the tray, toast was thrown, not TO the dog, but AT the dog, yogurt was immediately spit out once the spoon went into his mouth. Noted; no more "favorite" breakfast. Next, I thought I'd sit down for some one on one, Mommy n Me play time. Tucker, AKA, the Boss, proceeded to run around bonking the dogs on the head with his toy hammer and everytime I tried taking it from him, he'd look at me with his gorgeous blue eyes and scream in protest. And then, he'd try to bonk me with whatever he could find. You may be laughing at this point, and honestly as I write this I am chuckling a bit too, but at the time, it was seriously not cool. Next was nap time. Sleepy times has always been my thing. I have usually been able send the little Boss away to dreamland by snuggling and singing to him. Recently, he has decided that is no longer the case. Sleepy time consists of wrestling him down while I try to rock him, avoiding tiny fists and claws as he arches his back in protest and screams at me because he does not want to go to sleep. Most nights I give up, kiss him and tell him I love him and gently toss him in his crib to "cry it out". Eventually he falls asleep.
Fast forward; wake up time. I sweetly pick him up from his crib say "good morning" and go to change his diaper. That is unacceptable. Boss man abhors diaper changes and proceeds to flip over mid change and tries to fly off the table. Ever try wrestling a toddler and put a diaper on as he's crawling away? I have. Sadly, not just once. To give you the gist of the rest of the day, we ran errands for a bit in town and those couple of hours consisted of sippy cup dumped in car seat, wet car seat and everything else, fits thrown in the store, fits thrown every time he got strapped in, fits when we stopped driving. Awesome. So I decide to take him to the park. We had a glorious time of sand eating (on his end) climbing, and chasing around. Time to go and...you guessed it. Fits getting strapped in, fits all the way home, fits getting out of the car and running around the house. Dinner was made, dinner was spit out, bath time was had, and bed time was again upon us. For fear of another wrestling match at bedtime, thankfully the hubby took over tonight. Or was I thankful? For him, Tucker drank his bottle and drifted sweetly off to sleep. No wrestling, not fussing, just peace.
To put a typical, but very tiresome day into a nutshell; that little Boss that I carried, labored for hours, endured extreme exhaustion and work everyday to make happy, doesn't care about any of that and gives full love and credit to the wonderful husband of mine who didn't do any of those things for him. (minus the exhaustion and happiness claims, my husband is actually SUPER amazing) Jealousy and hurt takes over my body and I am left with what feels like an elephant sitting on my chest, wondering what I do that's so wrong, and why can't he be sweet for me??
As a mother, I work so hard to choose the right toys, foods, games, clothes, EVERYTHING for him and most days, the most credit I get for the lovely Boss, is that I get to be his Mom. Which is totally enough to keep doing it every single day. But some days, like today, I wish I could be the hero. The one he toddles over to and says, Ma Ma and gives me some sort of love. At the end of the day, I know he loves me and I know some day he'll appreciate in some way the things I do for him, but that just doesn't make me feel better today. Being a mom a hard, harder than anything I've ever done before. My heart breaks on a daily basis, but somehow it heals right back up. There isn't a job out there that my Boss would be so demanding and I'd reap such little recognition from. (I am being a little dramatic here, yes, I know there are some really shitty jobs out there and I know people suffer, but that's not the point of this post) I've given my heart, my soul, my body, and my brain to this little adorable, relentless Boss of mine and all for the one moment that he turns and says "love you Ma Ma".
Here's to all the Moms there ever was and is, we're doing a good job, even if our reviews suck.
Today, I found myself, not for the first time, thinking that being a Mom is seriously the most difficult job there is. There have been many, MANY other posts, satirical and serious, about the strifes of motherhood, but here I am to add my own. Consider your lovely adorable child your boss. You spend nine months carrying and hosting this growing being inside you, giving up the delicious food and wine that you love in order to create a healthy baby, going through pains and lack of sleep and everything else that comes along with pregnancy to eventually spend hours of labor and pain to bring this being into the world. After extreme exhaustion kicks in, you're now expected to feed, rock, walk, perform entertaining presentations, all while also keeping up with your well being, house work, dinners, etc. To that, your little squishy boss responds with excessive crying, all the time, all through the night. Lovely.
Fast forward one year. You've finally gotten your rhythm in the world of parenting. Somehow you've managed to learn how to take care of your growing Boss and he is thriving. The house gets cleaned (most of the time), the groceries are bought, menus are planned, you even have a little bit of spare time to do the things you love. Through it all, your husband, the love of your life, the one you couldn't wait to see when you woke up everyday, has made his own transformation into fatherhood. Although he has rough days of his own and there are literally times you want to pinch him SUPER hard under his arm so he bruises... he's done an amazing job. He has kept up with things, supported you when you needed it and somehow still managed to think you're sexy. It all seems like all the pain and strife that was once a daily expectancy, has somehow vanished and you've arrived into the Golden Days. And then you have a reality check.
Today, was a great day. I took Tucker and the dogs on a walk in the bright sunshine. We arrived home for a little play time and breakfast. I made a nice meal for Tucker of his favorites; strawberry yogurt, toast and blueberries. We sat down and much to my surprise, the lovely breakfast of favorites that I made especially for Tucker is now NOT his favorite. Blueberries were smooshed and spread around on the tray, toast was thrown, not TO the dog, but AT the dog, yogurt was immediately spit out once the spoon went into his mouth. Noted; no more "favorite" breakfast. Next, I thought I'd sit down for some one on one, Mommy n Me play time. Tucker, AKA, the Boss, proceeded to run around bonking the dogs on the head with his toy hammer and everytime I tried taking it from him, he'd look at me with his gorgeous blue eyes and scream in protest. And then, he'd try to bonk me with whatever he could find. You may be laughing at this point, and honestly as I write this I am chuckling a bit too, but at the time, it was seriously not cool. Next was nap time. Sleepy times has always been my thing. I have usually been able send the little Boss away to dreamland by snuggling and singing to him. Recently, he has decided that is no longer the case. Sleepy time consists of wrestling him down while I try to rock him, avoiding tiny fists and claws as he arches his back in protest and screams at me because he does not want to go to sleep. Most nights I give up, kiss him and tell him I love him and gently toss him in his crib to "cry it out". Eventually he falls asleep.
Fast forward; wake up time. I sweetly pick him up from his crib say "good morning" and go to change his diaper. That is unacceptable. Boss man abhors diaper changes and proceeds to flip over mid change and tries to fly off the table. Ever try wrestling a toddler and put a diaper on as he's crawling away? I have. Sadly, not just once. To give you the gist of the rest of the day, we ran errands for a bit in town and those couple of hours consisted of sippy cup dumped in car seat, wet car seat and everything else, fits thrown in the store, fits thrown every time he got strapped in, fits when we stopped driving. Awesome. So I decide to take him to the park. We had a glorious time of sand eating (on his end) climbing, and chasing around. Time to go and...you guessed it. Fits getting strapped in, fits all the way home, fits getting out of the car and running around the house. Dinner was made, dinner was spit out, bath time was had, and bed time was again upon us. For fear of another wrestling match at bedtime, thankfully the hubby took over tonight. Or was I thankful? For him, Tucker drank his bottle and drifted sweetly off to sleep. No wrestling, not fussing, just peace.
To put a typical, but very tiresome day into a nutshell; that little Boss that I carried, labored for hours, endured extreme exhaustion and work everyday to make happy, doesn't care about any of that and gives full love and credit to the wonderful husband of mine who didn't do any of those things for him. (minus the exhaustion and happiness claims, my husband is actually SUPER amazing) Jealousy and hurt takes over my body and I am left with what feels like an elephant sitting on my chest, wondering what I do that's so wrong, and why can't he be sweet for me??
As a mother, I work so hard to choose the right toys, foods, games, clothes, EVERYTHING for him and most days, the most credit I get for the lovely Boss, is that I get to be his Mom. Which is totally enough to keep doing it every single day. But some days, like today, I wish I could be the hero. The one he toddles over to and says, Ma Ma and gives me some sort of love. At the end of the day, I know he loves me and I know some day he'll appreciate in some way the things I do for him, but that just doesn't make me feel better today. Being a mom a hard, harder than anything I've ever done before. My heart breaks on a daily basis, but somehow it heals right back up. There isn't a job out there that my Boss would be so demanding and I'd reap such little recognition from. (I am being a little dramatic here, yes, I know there are some really shitty jobs out there and I know people suffer, but that's not the point of this post) I've given my heart, my soul, my body, and my brain to this little adorable, relentless Boss of mine and all for the one moment that he turns and says "love you Ma Ma".
Here's to all the Moms there ever was and is, we're doing a good job, even if our reviews suck.
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