Saturday Morning Thoughts

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I find it hard to look back on memories that pop up on social media. Our life has changed a lot in the past 10 years and it always leaves me a little sad to look back at the joy of the moment we had in a different place. It makes me question why I ever left it.  Even more so as a mother, it always strikes me with sadness to look back at my squishy baby and know I'll never get thise moments back. But those memories are deceiving and it's hard to remember that when they pop up. While those moments look absolutely blissful now, I know that the surrounding moments weren't nearly as sweet. Because of course no one posts the struggles of the day or the tough places they're in for all to see.  it's hard to remember that in THIS moment. It's like a vicious cycle of chasing happiness, but never truly enjoying it in the moment you have it. Before you realize it, you're wishing you could go back. I think the intentions of those memories on social media coming back up were probably meant to bring us joy. But more often than not it brings me sadness and anxiety. And the thought that my life is never really enough until I miss out on it, always pushing me to look into the past instead of embracing the present. I wonder if there's anyone else who feels the same as me? Or if I'm simply this way because my life has endured more life changes in a concentrated period of time than most people. And if I'm not the only one who feels like this, I wonder if they too avoid looking at those sweet memories that pop up in order to stay present. 

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