Baby Love

A few weeks ago, (and a couple blogs ago) I had this intense feeling that something big was going to happen in my life, something possibly even life changing.  The worst part of that feeling was not knowing if it was going to be a good change or a bad one.  I tried to waste little time fretting over it, but I couldn't shake the feeling.  Then after a very stressful week and feeling under that weather, my answer came.  As most of you know, Tony and I are expecting our first baby October 23rd!  I guess my intuition was on point with the big, life changing upcoming event.  But that wasn't the only good thing that happened, I had been applying for a different position within my company for a few weeks with no luck, but the same week we found out about baby, I was also offered a new position!  I start my new job as a personal banker tomorrow actually!  So there are a couple really great things happening in the Danielson household.  

Now that the news is out, I can finally express a little bit of the journey we were on to get to where we're at.  Tony and I tried for little Baby D for ten frustrating months.  Now if anyone knows me, you know that I am not the most patient person in the world and I'm also kind of a control freak...haha!  So the wait was a long and difficult one.  I definitely understand the frustration some couples go through while trying to conceive, although I'm sure it was only a small dose in my case.  With the popularity of social networking, blogs, and Pinterest, I found myself starting to resent everyone who had a baby.  Not that I wasn't happy for all my friends and family, because I definitely was!  But I think everyone deals with a struggle in a similar way at some point in their life.  Some people have a hard time finding "the ONE" and despise their friends who just got engaged, some despise recent college graduates because they're taking a much longer road to get there, and the list goes on.  Luckily, I did realize that I wasn't actually upset with other people for having something I wanted and was able to reign myself in. (Most of the time...)  My one major complaint, and still probably will be, is the overkill of updates and pictures that some people share about their children.  In my opinion, most people love to see a cute picture of little Johnny eating cake or a funny story about what he said at the dinner table last night, but it's when EVERY day becomes a waterfall of pictures (that tend to look the exact same to everyone else except mom/dad) or statuses about sick kids or highly opinionated parenting posts that become so irritating to the average audience.  So here's my plan, because it bothered me so much, I plan to happily share parts of my pregnancy sparingly via Facebook or Instagram and I'll do my best to not overwhelm everyone's newsfeeds with Baby D updates.  For those of you who follow me on Pinterest, I apologize for all the baby posts, to this day I don't understand why people follow my boards...Pinterest is something I use to save good ideas, not really to share with others...but if you get annoyed, feel free to unfollow.  With that being said, I'm sure I'll want to share other things I find interesting about pregnancy throughout my journey so I will write in my blog to share those kinds of things.  That way if you're interested to know, you're welcome to read it and it's not in your face.  On the flip side, now that I have a baby on the way, I could just as easily become a little defensive when others who are managing with their own struggles voice their frustrations, aiming them my way.  I'll do my best to not get offended, like I said before, everyone deals with struggles in their own way and maybe they just need to get it out.  We are only human after all.

Being pregnant is unlike anything I've ever experienced.  I'm sure those of you who are mommies know the tale well, but you just really don't know until you KNOW.  It's an indescribable mixture of joy, terror, and excitement all the time!  The day I found out, I just KNEW I wasn't pregnant.  For anyone who is trying to get pregnant, it's impossible to tell the difference between period symptoms and pregnancy symptoms.  After many negative tests and a pieces of my heart breaking, I learned to have a plan for what happens when I get the negative.  So I bought the test, (after Tony told me not to...he had been through too many nights of disappointment already) took it and left it on the floor in the bathroom, went out in the kitchen and got the wine out. I already knew I was going to need it.  After pacing around a bit I went back in to see my fate and was literally shocked to see the lovely words "pregnant" on the stick.  I'm pretty sure I stood there for about five minutes with my jaw open staring at it, dumbfounded.  Then I jumped around, cried, stared again, jumped, and cried again.  I'm sure my girls were thinking I was a loonatick. I guess I didn't need the wine after all. :) Tony was at work and of course I couldn't wait to tell him so I called him and told him to come home.  He definitely knew I was pregnant before I said anything, maybe it was daddy intuition, but he said he'd be home as soon as he could.  An hour and a half later, Daisy and Ava Seuss told him the news.

Since that day it was so difficult to keep it a secret!  Tony is the worst.  He probably told his entire family before we even had our first appointment!  haha!  I'm not complaining though, he has been the most helpful, attentive, amazing husband since finding out. (he was those things before, but now it's just a lot more!) I have been feeling good ol' morning sickness the last few weeks and he has been nothing but helpful.  Best husband/soon to be dad award goes to him!  We attended our first doctor's appointment where we were able to see little baby AND hear the heartbeat!  The feeling that I had when I saw and heard baby is inexplicable.  If I had to explain it'd be something like, your heart swelling so big and so fast it feels like it's going to burst out of your chest!  It truly is a miracle.  I didn't really feel pregnant until that moment.  I began to actually feel like I wasn't alone, which is obvious you may think, but without a huge belly or any other visible signs of baby, it's hard to believe there's anything actually going on in there!  Everyday I can feel a lovely little energy inside me.  That may sound odd, but I think only a mom could understand the feeling.  This whole experience has been so wonderful, even though most days I feel like complete crap, and I just want to sleep and have to pee every five minutes, it's all worth it.  

 

Only a few days later, we shared the big news with everyone, or rather, Daisy and Ava Seuss did.  I was surprised the amount of love and congratulations that were sent our way!  SO many of our friends and family members had so much love and support for us, I can't tell you how appreciative and touched Tony and I both were. So thank you to all of you. <3

Right now I'm about 8.5 weeks pregnant and starting to feel my belly getting tight and kind of round.  It's that awkward stage where no one can tell you're pregnant so everyone just assumes you have a gut. haha! Hopefully that won't last too long.  Anyhoo, that's about it for now.  I feel so happy and so thankful that we are finally able to host a tiny human.  I appreciate everyone who has been so supportive for all those frustrating months and everyone who continues to check in on me and offer advice an support.  Prayers, good thought, and good vibes are always appreciated throughout this whole journey.  <3

Quote for the day:

 "For this child I prayed, and the Lord answered my prayer" 1 Samuel 1:27