1 Month Old!

So many people have been telling me, "enjoy this time while you have it, it goes fast".  It couldn't be more true.  These last four weeks has gone by so quickly!  However, there were many days that it felt like the day couldn't go by quickly enough as well.  While I was pregnant I had a few people warn me of the hard days that come in the first few weeks of having a newborn.  There were also friends that I would excitedly ask how things were going after they had their newborn and was quite surprised by the kind of responses that I was getting.  Many mommies who I had seen so excited to have their new babies a few weeks before their newborn arrived, seemed tired (understandably) but also like they wondered why they decided to have a baby in the first place.  I remember thinking, "man, after trying so hard to have this baby, I'm going to be SO elated when my baby arrives; I'll just spend my days being so happy and cuddling with my sweet new baby I won't care that I'm tired." Boy was I dreaming. haha!  Not that there haven't been moments like those, where I've just sat there staring down at my sweet little boy and cried because I knew we'd never get moments like these back after they've gone.  But a lot of my days in the first few weeks were like those that I had been warned about.  And I became that tired, "what was I thinking" mommy. 

I decided to breastfeed our little Tucker so he could get as many of the wonderful benefits that he could from mommy's milk.  While I still stand by my decision, the first couple weeks of breastfeeding were hard. No, not just hard, painful, tiring, frustrating, and almost impossible.  Who knew that something that's SO natural would be so difficult?  I guess I naively figured that the baby would just come out knowing what to do.  Wrongo!  Tucker and I had a hard time getting latched, (for a first time mom...what the heck is a good latch?!) then he didn't seem to eat enough, then my milk supply seemed to go away, THEN we both got an infection and had to go see two doctors, visit two pharmacies, and take a whole lot of different meds all in one day.  On top of those issues, I was overly tired, hormonal, emotional, and had no idea what I was doing.  Being a mom is hard!  And no matter how much I read, took classes, listened to other moms, it was like a crash course into parenthood.  Luckily, I have a super awesome partner to help me out.  Tony, like everything else in our marriage, is an amazing daddy.  Tucker responds very well to him and he's able to give me the breaks that I need.  Even though Tony can't help with the feedings, there are nights where I'm so tired that Tony will get up, get the baby, bring him to me, wait till he's done, and take him again so I could go back to sleep.  I'm kinda tearing up as I type those words.  I truly don't know how I would have made it through the first month without him.

Despite all the hardships we've had thus far, being a mom is extremely rewarding.  Tucker is by far the cutest little thing I've ever seen (I'm not biased at all...) and he is just so sweet.  Each day we learn a little bit more about each other.  Thus far, we've learned that he loves to be held and snuggled.  He loves the changing table and getting his diaper changed and changing clothes.  So funny.  He is intrigued by the girls.  Ava slurps his face when she gets close to him and Daisy lays next to us while he eats.  He's figured out the pacifier and loves the heck out of it.  He's a big boy at 11 lbs and doesn't fit into newborn anything anymore. Tear! :'(  He smiles a lot for his daddy and loves to watch him make faces at him.  Because I'm mommy and he associates food with me, I don't get a lot of the fun smiles and silly faces, but when he's tired and needs comfort he always wants his momma. <3 I've learned that he loves to be cuddled up in a soft blanket with his pacifier and rocked to sleep while I sing to him.  It a good thing he doesn't care/know what I sing to him because I don't know a lot of lullabys.  We sing anything from Frozen songs to Madonna.  haha! 

Currently he is sleeping and making the cutest faces and sounds.  I wonder what he's dreaming about....

Many people have asked me what I need or how they can help.  Those of you who know me know that I'm a bit proud and tend to just say, "Oh I'm good thanks!".  But here's my one favor; check in with me every now and then. Just to say hi and ask how the baby is or how I am.  Being on maternity leave and having Tony back at work is a little lonely some days and I'm quite used to a lot more interaction throughout the day.  Plus, I'm not one to whine about my issues on Facebook or send a text when I'm feeling particularly down so many don't know that I've had hard days. 

The next couple of weeks I look forward to getting a little more active.  I'm only 7 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight and can't wait to tighten up!  Also, I'm super excited that I'm on maternity leave during the holidays! Tony's family comes in for Thanksgiving this week and then the Christmas madness begins! I foresee many hot chocolate, decorating, Christmas movies and music days in the near future. I hope Tucker loves the holidays as much as his momma!

That being said, I hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving! <3