The Happiness Cup

Today was "Pity Party" day for Lacy.  Nothing particularly awful or dramatic happened, but I found myself wallowing in all the things I don't have.  These kind of days have happened more often than I would have expected since I moved to Florida.  Now, you may be thinking, "how in the world could you be unsatisfied? you live in Florida, have a beautiful home, a great job, an amazing husband, and two very lovable dogs?!" Those things are all very true.  And it's funny to me because when I lived in Boise, I remember numerous times where I thought, "I just need to get OUT of Idaho.  I want to experience new things and start a life of my own!"  Every now and then, especially on "pity party" days, I have a moment of clarity.  I only want whatever I don't have.  

I believe it comes from this unquenchable thirst to be "happy", like happiness is something you can achieve.  Let me tell you something I've discovered: we will never fully achieve happiness.  That sounds absolutely terrible doesn't it?  But it's not I promise!  Here's an example: I have MANY clothes and shoes. Probably enough that I wouldn't have to do laundry for at least a month. Ridiculous right? How could I ever want more?  But then a new pair of Michael Kors shoes catch my eye in the store, and I think , if I just had those shoes, my wardrobe would be complete, I'd wear them with everything! And BOOM! They become a part of the Lacy wardrobe.  (this also stems from a small shopping addiction, but that's a whole different post topic.)  I'm satisfied with my purchase and feel the shopping thirst no more, until another pair come along....

The reason we can never fully achieve happiness is because as humans, we have this urge to change, grow, evolve, however you'd like to put it.  We are always wanting more.  We want a bigger house, a better phone, a bigger TV, a baby, a better job, etc.  these are all things that we think will bring us happiness.  And they do, for a brief moment they satisfy us.  Then, the next iPhone comes out, manufacturers  begin making 80" TVs, your neighbor got a bigger house and now you want one too, your best friend, sister, arch enemy gets pregnant...and you begin the quest to fill up your "happiness cup" again.  

Lately I've become irritated when my friends or family from Idaho comment on how lucky I am to live in a place with warm weather and beaches.  Let me tell you, at this very moment, SNOW is in our forecast for the morning.  It's not all sunshine and daisies.  I get so irritated when I'm told how jealous people are that I live here and they're stuck in Boise, because all I really want is to go BACK to Boise!  Which proves my point that we all want something other than what we have. Now, all this wanting what we don't have isn't ALL bad, if we didn't strive to have more, make more, achieve more, we'd all be back in the Stone Age still.  We need to grow.  It's a part of life.  However the need to grow doesn't have to directly correlate with happiness.  We need to change the mindset that THINGS will make us happy.  I'm not the first to come to this realization, nor will I be the last, but, especially on "pity party" days, that moment of realization that I am happy RIGHT NOW, in this moment, is necessary.  Happiness isn't something you achieve, it's something that you already have.  You have the ability to be happy whenever you want. You don't need to do much for it! The simple things throughout the day will make you feel good if only you let them.  

With that being said, I truly believe that "pity party" days need to happen from time to time.  Not every day of course, but sometimes the negativity needs an outlet.  So cry it out, whine, be grumpy, feel sorry for yourself, but set a time limit for it. Give yourself a day where you just let it out.  No one has to be bright and shiny everyday!  If bad days never happened, you wouldn't be able to appreciate the good ones.  And that is the purpose of today's post: let yourself have bad days so you can have that moment of realization that you really are happy after all. And it doesn't come from things or other people.  It comes from within. 

Quote for the day: "Happiness is a habit-cultivate it"